While I was waiting at the airport for our honeymoon departure, my wife called to tell me she couldn’t make it because her ex texted her about an emergency. So I hopped on another flight and sent these pics to my wife—and now she is begging me to return.

My wife and I got married about a month ago, and this week we were supposed to go on our honeymoon. But while I was waiting at the airport, she texted me that she wouldn’t be able to make it because she had to attend to an emergency situation that her ex‑husband had texted her about.

For context: my wife is a bit of a workaholic, so she had a client meeting the morning that we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon. Since it was an important client, she had told me to get to the airport and she would drive there from her office itself. That’s why we had to come to the airport separately. I was already pretty miffed about that because I really thought she could postpone that meeting. And then, on top of that, when she texted me that she had to be with her ex because of an emergency, I just lost it. I decided to get flight tickets for another destination, travel to be with my brother, and I did not even respond to any of her messages or apologies until yesterday. But even then, I just sent her a couple of pictures of me dancing at a club—and that’s made our families very upset.

Our flight was three days ago, and since then she hasn’t stopped apologizing when she realized that I did not come back home when she couldn’t make it to the airport, but instead took another flight and visited my brother instead. Yesterday, I was very upset about everything that was going on, so my brother took me to a club and we ended up dancing and getting drunk—which is why I decided to click a bunch of photos of myself and then send them to her. The purpose had been to make her feel bad—but she went and told everybody in the family, and now people are scolding me because they think it was very insensitive of me to disregard the emergency itself.

For context, her ex had called her because he had tripped on something and twisted his ankle. His parents don’t live in the same state as us, but I feel like he could have called his friends instead. He called my wife—his ex‑wife—and she’s the one who took him to the ER. Later on, after I landed, I received a couple of texts from her explaining the entire situation to me. But that just made me even more upset because I feel like he could have called anybody else on this planet—but he chose to call my wife, and she chose to ditch our honeymoon for this. She didn’t even have the decency to call me—she just texted me that she had to miss the flight and hadn’t told me what this emergency could possibly be. She didn’t feel the need to explain anything to me until she had dealt with the situation at hand—and that’s what’s bugging me. This is not her situation to deal with. She could have contacted any of their common friends and sent them to him. At least that’s what I would have done in her place because she knows I don’t like her ex. I wouldn’t risk it. But everybody else says that I’m being too sensitive and my jealousy is making me look like a pathetic, insecure person right now.

I don’t agree with that though. I feel like her ex should have called somebody else for help—and my wife shouldn’t have gone, especially at the cost of our honeymoon. But given the reaction of both our families, I’m afraid that I might have gone a little too overboard with my behavior toward her. So—am I the jerk for being mad at my wife for skipping our honeymoon so she could be with her ex for a medical emergency?

Update 1

Okay—I did not want to speak to my in‑laws right now because things are pretty heated, but I did explain the situation to my family. I’ve already been very upset with my wife for the past couple of days because I feel like after we got married she’s been taking me for granted. In fact, I would actually go further back and say that this has been going on for a while now. Ever since we got engaged, she’s been spending all her time at work, and while I usually don’t mind that, it’s been getting a bit excessive. She’s been working like crazy over this promotion—to the extent that she was even considering postponing the wedding until after she had her promotion. But I put my foot down at that point.

So yes, it’s been a little insane. We’ve been having a lot of petty, bickering‑kind of fights. Before we got married, I was mostly trying to keep my cool since I thought this was just a phase—she would get a little less intense about work with time. But that didn’t happen, clearly. And then the thing with her ex…

I know that in my post I probably came off as a very insecure person. I don’t blame anybody for thinking that way—anybody who doesn’t know the whole story would probably believe that I’m the bad guy here. Honestly though, I feel like I have my reasons, since she and her ex have a very complicated history. They started dating in college and were together for three years, got married at twenty‑three, and then stayed married for another three years before filing for divorce due to incompatibility issues. Two years later, she met me, and we started dating. She had always been very upfront about her relationship with her ex. She told me he had been a very important part of her life and they had continued to be friends after their divorce because it had been an amicable situation.

Before I met him for the first time, I was not insecure at all. But then I saw how he acted around her, and I wouldn’t say that I felt insecure—but I would say that I felt very uneasy. For context: they still have a group of friends from when they were in college and they try to meet every couple of months. So after we had been together for almost a year, my wife took me to meet her friends, and her ex was going to be there like he always was. I knew that, and I was expecting him—and I thought I was going to be mentally prepared to meet him.

In the beginning, it actually went well. He was quite warm to me and seemed nice. But then, as the evening went on, things just got weird. I don’t know how to explain it—but all of a sudden it started becoming very clear to me that he was obviously not over her. I don’t know how to be specific about it, but just from his behavior I could tell that something was off. He was trying to talk to her the entire evening. He would start pouting if she did not pay him enough attention, and even though he did not try to be mean to me, he totally acted like I didn’t even exist at all for the rest of the evening. And the drunker he got, the less inhibited he seemed to be. By the end of the evening, I was quite uncomfortable with the whole thing and I made my opinions very clear to my wife.

At first she pretended like she didn’t know what I was talking about. But then when she noticed I was getting upset, she told me that she had noticed he had been acting weird but reassured me that this was the first time that this had happened after the divorce. She told me that they had met a couple of times for dinner and drinks with their friends even after the divorce and he had behaved completely normally—but maybe this time, since he knew that I was going to be there, he probably got a bit insecure and started acting weird, and maybe it was possible that he was not completely over her.

I could understand that—he had been with her for a really long time, so maybe it was hard for him to see her with another person. But I trusted my wife completely and I knew that if I told her she could not see him anymore or whatever, it would cause a lot of problems for her. She doesn’t have a lot of friends at work because she’s so fiercely competitive. And since she used to move around a lot when she was younger, she doesn’t have any significant friendships from her childhood either. So this group of friends from college—that’s pretty much all that she has. And as far as I was concerned, I don’t think anybody apart from me and my wife picked up on the fact that her ex had been acting weirdly the entire evening.

I knew that if I told her I did not want her seeing him again, she would have to stop meeting her friends—and that would end up isolating her completely. Obviously I couldn’t expect all her friends to accommodate my feelings and stop hanging out with somebody they’ve been friends with for so many years just because I felt a bit uneasy about his behavior—especially when they probably didn’t even know what was going on. So that’s why I didn’t make a big deal out of it. And since I trusted my wife completely, I knew he could act as insecure as he wanted to—it wasn’t going to make a difference to her. Because even that evening, when I was there for the first time ever, she just kept ignoring him and made sure I felt prioritized. She continued meeting her friends, and I knew her ex was there, but I didn’t go after that because I didn’t like him much.

And then at our wedding—he was invited, because I knew that if we were inviting her entire friend circle, it would be weird if we excluded him, especially since they were on good terms. Besides, I really didn’t want him to think that I was insecure about him. So we invited him and he attended—and surprisingly he behaved differently that day. He was nice to me and mostly just kept to himself. So that was good. That was pretty much the last interaction I had with him and I thought things were cool.

But then this incident took place. Now obviously you guys probably know where I’m heading with this. The thing is, all her friends knew that she was going on her honeymoon on this particular day, and I just thought it was a pretty big coincidence for him to have hurt himself on that particular day. I found it even more strange that they have so many common friends, yet he chose to call her—even though he’s not even the closest to her anymore, neither emotionally nor geographically. I know that one of their friends literally lives a couple of blocks away from him, so he could have just as easily called her instead. But he chose to call my wife specifically. And even though her office is pretty far away from his home, she went—instead of calling her friends and telling them to be there for him.

Now this, combined with the fact that she had already been acting very annoying for the past couple of months just because she wanted a promotion at work—it just got to me. We had already been fighting a lot because of her workaholic tendencies, and she knew that I really didn’t like her ex—so that was just the cherry on top for me. But what I was mostly upset about was that she didn’t even call me to explain the situation to me. She just texted me and left it at that—as if I would just have to understand and deal with it. Yes, I did take a flight to my brother’s place out of anger because I just didn’t want to be alone at the time. I don’t think I did anything wrong—especially when she had already decided that she was not going to make it to the honeymoon.

And then there’s also the fact that if she really wanted to make it up to me and genuinely apologize, she should have just taken a flight to where I am and done it in person. She definitely knows where I am—I’ve been posting stories with my brother. So it’s not like she’s in the dark about that. If she wanted to show me how sorry she was, she could have come over and apologized to me—and I probably would have forgiven her because she knows I’m a sucker for big romantic gestures.

And the thing that I did—by sending her a bunch of photos of me having fun at the bar, getting drunk and dancing—the intent of that was to make her upset. I didn’t think she was going to drag our families into it because I didn’t do that. I thought we were above this kind of thing. After all, she really did hurt me by skipping our honeymoon for the sake of her ex—but then I didn’t go complaining to her parents. So I don’t understand why she felt the need to do that. I was already pretty angry with her—now I feel even worse. My brother has been my only solace in this whole situation. He’s been defending me non‑stop to our parents, and this morning they finally acknowledged that maybe I did have a point and saw my side of things.

I don’t blame them for being upset with me because initially they didn’t know everything that had been going on with us. They had no idea about the problem I’ve been having with her regarding the whole workaholic thing—and then also the situation with her ex, which was not very nice to begin with. But at this point, I don’t really know what to do because ever since I sent her those pictures, she has stopped trying to contact me. Her parents are still texting me, telling me that I need to talk to her and apologize to her for being so petty. But she herself hasn’t been saying anything. I’m planning on going back home in a couple of days so I can talk to her about this in person, because I don’t think phone calls and messages are going to do me any good at this point. Right now, though, I just feel upset about this whole thing.

But still—a huge thanks to everyone who commented on my post because I really feel like I needed to get these things off my chest. Even though my brother is here for me all the time, I felt like telling strangers about this would at least help me get a clearer perspective—and that definitely did work.

Update 2

I bought flight tickets to fly back home today. It’s been two days since my update and my in‑laws are still texting me—but still no word from my wife. I guess she’s really upset about the pictures I sent her. But it wasn’t even like I was with a bunch of women or anything—there were mostly men in the background, since a lot of you had assumed I was with a lot of women in the club. I just needed you guys to know that’s not what happened. I get why she’s upset though. I’d probably feel the same way if I were in her place.

But then I don’t think she understands why I’m upset. If she did, she would have made more of an effort to get in touch with me. But all she did was call and text, and I really don’t think that’s enough—especially considering the gravity of the situation. Had this been any other normal trip, I probably wouldn’t have been that upset. But this was supposed to be our honeymoon, for God’s sake. And it’s really frustrating for me that she doesn’t seem to understand that—because she had been apologizing like this was some totally normal thing to happen. In fact, I’ve even told a couple of my friends about this and they told me my reaction was completely normal—especially given the fact that I already did not trust her ex and she knew that. She didn’t think it was important for her to prioritize me instead.

Even my parents have apologized to me now—since they are aware of the entire situation now, not just her side. But they have also told me that if I want to make this marriage work I’m going to have to suck it up and talk to her first when I go home—so I can at least break the ice between us. The thing is—I’m not sure I really want to do that because I don’t think I’m at fault. Yes, maybe sending those pictures was a petty thing to do, but then she went and complained about it to my parents and her parents—as if they were going to punish me like a little teenager. I mean—that’s petty too, so I guess we can call it even at least on that front.

And I understand that my parents are giving me advice from a place of concern—because they really want my marriage to work out. And so do I—because regardless of everything that has happened, I still do think that I love her, and I’m sure that if I talk to her I’ll know that she loves me too. But then love is not enough. I have to know that she respects me and my opinions as well—and right now I don’t feel that way. She’s been treating the situation so casually that I don’t even think she’s taking my anger seriously—and that’s a problem for me. Because, as I’ve already mentioned in the first update, I did not like her ex at any point in time. And the only reason I did not ever ask her to stop hanging out with him was because I knew that would be asking for a lot, since she would have to cut off her only friends. I’m a generally trusting person, but I feel like even my trust has its limits—and this is crossing a line.

Also—the fact that she hasn’t texted me herself after I sent her those pictures, or made any effort at all to get in touch with me or talk to me, is just messing with me. My brother honestly believes that I should just stay with him for a couple of days more until she shows up to apologize—or until I think it’s time for me to move on. And I can’t deal with this anymore. Honestly, I have to say that I’m tempted by his offer because that really would teach her a lesson. But then—I don’t want to be that petty either. After all, we have been together for a considerable amount of time. We are married now, and even though we have had our fair share of problems so far, we have always managed to work through it.

And even though I don’t feel very confident about it, I do think that if I talk to her—at least I can give it a chance to work. I don’t want to give up on this without even trying. But my only dilemma right now is that maybe she’s ready to do that—because she’s not trying at all. I don’t even know what to feel anymore. I feel like I’m rambling senselessly—but I just need to talk about these things. I don’t want to talk to friends or family about this because I feel like they will have their own opinions, their advice and all that. And right now, I just want to vent without hearing any of that.

Anyway—my point is that I’m very upset that after those pictures, she just completely gave up trying. And now, just because I was upset with her and did something out of anger, it’s suddenly my responsibility to repair our relationship. I don’t know how to feel about that. But then—if I really want to make this marriage work, I know I’m going to have to just suck it up and do it. So that’s why I’m going back home and hopefully we’ll be able to sort this out. If not, then I don’t know what to expect because the alternative is so bad I don’t even want to say it out loud.

Update 3

So I flew back home today early in the morning—and to my surprise, when I came back home the house was locked. I knew my wife wasn’t at work because it was around 8:21 in the morning and we didn’t leave for work until nine. That was really weird. And then, when I entered the house, I was even more surprised—because it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for days. I immediately started calling my wife, but she did not answer the phone. Then, around nine in the morning, she finally picked up, and when I told her I was back home and asked her where she was, she told me to stay there so she could drive back home.

I had no idea what was going on—but I still stayed, even though I had a really bad feeling about this situation. Because she was not at home, of course my first thought was that she must have been staying with her ex—and I already knew that if that was actually the truth, I was going to leave. There was no way I was going to stay with her knowing that she had spent the past couple of days with her ex, knowing that I didn’t like him. But like an idiot, I still wanted to give her a chance to at least explain herself—because I thought that maybe there was another, more innocent and reasonable explanation.

Anyway, within a couple of minutes she came back home, and without wasting any time I confronted her and asked her where she had been. Then, of course, just as I had expected—she told me she had been staying with her ex for the past couple of days, ever since the day of the flight. So for almost a week she had been staying with her ex—and she didn’t even think it was important to mention it to me. Or more likely, she didn’t tell me on purpose because she knew it would make me even more upset. But whatever it was, the bottom line was that she hadn’t told me.

I immediately started freaking out. As soon as she said that, I started yelling at her because I was already very upset with her, and I just knew that this was going to happen. She tried to get defensive, but then I asked her if she had been going to work—and she told me she had been working from home. That was the last straw—because even when I had requested her to switch to working from home for a couple of days or just take a few days off work so we could prepare for our wedding together, she had declined and said this promotion was too important to her to sacrifice her work for. She looked down on “work from home” culture—so she didn’t want to risk anything. But now, just because she wanted to take care of her ex, she was ready to do that.

She tried to tell me that his parents are quite aged, so she couldn’t expect them to come over to take care of him—especially when they need somebody to take care of them. And all their friends had been too busy. And so that only left her, and having the kind of relationship that they did, she felt it would be really rude to decline—since he was injured, it was very difficult to do things for himself, and that’s why she decided to stay with him. She reassured me that she had been sleeping on the couch and it had been purely platonic—but it made no difference to me. She could have been sleeping in his basement for all I cared. The fact of the matter was that she had hidden this very important fact from me. Like a fool, I had been beating myself up about those pictures I had sent her—all the while she had been staying with her ex in his house. In comparison, what I had done was literally nothing. And she had already sent those pictures to our parents to make a big deal out of this, so it wasn’t like this went unpunished. I had to face the music for what I did even though it wasn’t as bad as what she was doing. And now I told her it was about time she faced repercussions for her actions as well.

I hadn’t unpacked yet, so I just grabbed my bags and started walking out. But then she told me that she was just trying to be there for her ex as a friend and it would be really cruel of her to decline when he had requested her to stay with him. She kept trying to explain herself as if this was a very reasonable thing to do—but I was not interested in hearing her out. I just walked away, got into my car, and drove to my parents’ house. Once I was there, I explained the entire situation to them and they told me that if I wanted to file for a divorce they would arrange for me to speak to a lawyer. It didn’t even take a second to agree. So now my parents are looking for a lawyer while I’m just trying to process everything that’s going on.

I blocked her as soon as I got home—even though she had texted me a bunch of times saying that she was really sorry that I felt bad but she just wanted to be there for her friend. The fact that even while apologizing she was still sticking to her point made me even more upset than I already was. Now, given the current scenario, I don’t feel bad about anything I have done—because I feel like if anything I was a lot less petty than I should have been. If I had known she was staying with her ex, I probably would have gone all out trying to make her feel bad. Anyway—what’s done is done now. I’m just going to speak to a lawyer and try to get this over with. She can go stay with her ex permanently now. I don’t care anymore.

Update 4

So it’s been a couple of weeks since my last update, and I filed for divorce. She responded that she’s not contesting the petition—and soon enough we’ll be able to finalize the whole thing because she’s agreed to my terms. She did send me an email a couple of days ago saying that she was really sorry about how things turned out, but then she felt that I had become very insecure and jealous and she thinks this is the best decision for us in the long run since she doesn’t think she’ll be able to make it work with me if this is the kind of person I am. It really boiled my blood to read that email—because even now, she really thinks that whatever she had done was completely reasonable. Even her parents feel the same way. That’s why they called my parents up and started lecturing them about my behavior—but my parents told them where they could stick their little sermon.

Anyway, I’ve decided to move in with my brother, and in a couple of weeks I’m even switching jobs since he managed to get me a position in his company. This is going to be a big move, but honestly I really, really need this. My friends and parents also think I need a change of scenery—especially since I really loved this woman, but she turned out to be a total disappointment. And honestly, I’m actually quite excited about my new life—especially since I’m going to be closer to my brother. I’m hopeful for the future.